Tuesday, 21 October 2014

Non-fiction, autobiographical piece. Theme: place.


It was dark, oh, my, was it dark, and when your eyes don't necessarily adjust well, this can pose a slight problem. It was a good thing I had someone there to guide me. We walked through that darkness, telling each other creepy stories along the way and laughing nervously at the different creaks and cracks we heard from the dense patches of trees on either side of us. These sounds could all be reasonably explained, of course; wildlife seems to thrive during the later hours of the evening. Five minutes flew by, then ten, and under a single dim-lit lamppost, we found what we had been walking for. 

This was our bench. Placed by the side of a winding, concrete pathway, you wouldn't expect it to be blessed with a view that people would climb mountains to find. It's such a simple thing as well, the generic sort of wooden seat you'd find in any suburban park. However, we claimed it as ours and the view, oh, the view was as beautiful as the person I had the pleasure of sharing it with. Behold, all the rolling hills of Swindon's outskirts. Amongst them, old and new architecture battle for dominance over the landscape, with a motorway refereeing and a dual carriageway creating an almost liminal boundary between ourselves and this great fight. The scene is illuminated faintly by the stars of the cloudless sky and the bold full moon accompanying them. On our side of the boundary, our bench is lit only by the single lamppost I mentioned before.

I knew we had surroundings. I knew there were trees to the right of us. I knew that somewhere down the path, there was an underpass that led to the fields we were staring out at. I knew that, behind us, there was yet another large expanse of open space on a steep incline. But, then and there, I swear, they had all disappeared in the same way the people around you disappear in a movie theatre when the film begins. You know they're there, but you don't necessarily need or want to acknowledge them. Right now, they are unnecessary. Right now, you're focused on one thing. I suppose that's why the lamppost felt more like a spotlight and why it felt like we were the only people in the world who could see this. It was all ours. It was our world, our view. This was our bench.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Panic.


My chest still hurts. 
It had been so long. 
And my chest still hurts. 
And my breathing is still slightly stunted. 
And it has been just over a day since.
And my chest.
Still.
Hurts.

Untitled 02


We always write down what we don't want people to hear
Simply because we fear
What they might think
How their opinions might change
If we show them our scars
So we put them behind bars
Hide them
Beneath layers of clothes
Hide them
In opaque glass boxes
Which can only be smashed 
By those who are closest
And boasting
About their lives
They carry hammers
To break you
But never make you

Untitled 01


Late night
Or early morning
No sleep
Watch a movie
Something scary
Something new
Jeepers Creepers
This'll do

Watch carefully 
And listen now
The creature's coming
A song is playing
Desensitised
Why aren't I scared?
Where are the monsters 
Beneath my bed?
Look at the screen
Another's dead
Should this not be playing
With my head?

And how is it
As time went on
I lost the strength 
To watch
With what?
With apathy
So I cannot see
The blood and gore
In front of me.

Sometimes it's fine

But the news gets worse
And so do I